ARTS PIES BABIES

I think making art and putting it out into the wor

I think making art and putting it out into the world is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. I feel this struggle, between wanting to toughen my mental shell to withstand criticism or negative opinion, and the desire to hold everything that is soft and delicate in my mind and heart out in my open hands and present it to anyone who would see. Anyway. Here is my most recent painting. I hope you see something in it.

Instagram post 17944027541905304

Instagram post 17944027541905304

Here is a cropped view of what’s currently on my

Here is a cropped view of what’s currently on my easel. I’ve been sharing it frequently in my stories, but I think it’s getting very close so I wanted to give it a permanent spot on my feed.

“I’m a painter like you, mama!”

“I’m a painter like you, mama!”

Despite not having been able to attend a figure dr

Despite not having been able to attend a figure drawing session in a bit, I felt like I was able to jump right back in at this last weeks session. I will be the first to say that I am not particularly skilled at the study of the figure, but I always enjoy the mental and artistic exercise it is, and I know that it positively impacts my artistic practice.

“What We Will Grow” 40”x44”. Rejected from

“What We Will Grow” 40”x44”. Rejected from the Springville Salon, but that’s ok. 4/5 of my babies painted on this with me, #5 got breast milk I pumped while painting so that’s his contribution.

Here’s the artist statement I wrote, and truly I hate writing them. Anyway.

I think we teach each other, though I’m sure there are those who think that’s foolish. Maybe the lessons I learn from you, and the lessons you learn from me, are seeds planted and nourished. Maybe they’ll make a beautiful garden someday. Maybe us two are planted together, me before you, or you from me, and we are meant to grow together. If this is our garden, I think it’s beautiful.

Hi, here is my piece for the @greatestactoflove sh

Hi, here is my piece for the @greatestactoflove show, “Crucifixion, after mosaic in the Church of the Dormition”. It’s named after, you might have guessed, a Byzantine era mosaic in the Church of the Dormition. Not quite a master copy, but enough of one. A few years ago I was researching crucifixion paintings, and I loved seeing master copies done by artists I loved. Like, did you know Van Gogh did a beautiful copy of a pieta painting by Delacroix? Anyway. It was fun for me to try to combine distinctly mosaic qualities with expressive oil painting. It was also a great mental exercise-a common element in early Christian art is intentional distortion of the figure for symbolic purposes. I kept wanting to correct the distortions, and fix the proportions. I had to keep checking my references and remind myself that yeah, it is wrong. But intentionally. This show is filled with so many different pieces, and all of them unique in style and execution. It’s up for a few weeks at least, so if you’re close to Provo and want a good Easter activity, going to this show would be a great idea. As always, I’m so proud of my friends @julianalakediaz @emiliebucklewisstudios @maureen.merrell.art for curating a beautiful show, and for their own fantastic pieces. It’s humbling to be included with such a group.

This is a work in progress I’ve been sharing in

This is a work in progress I’ve been sharing in my stories, but I think it’s time for it to make an appearance on the main feed. This is based on a photograph I took of my oldest when she was just a little girl. We were living in Wisconsin at the time, visiting a nearby farm. This was such a challenging time for me. We moved to Wisconsin when I was pregnant with her, so we had to build relationships from scratch (still close to so many Wisconsin friends, it truly was the best place). Jordan had just begun his career and was working a fairly high stress job that required nearly weekly travel all over the country. I remember feeling so frustrated with myself sometimes, when all I was managing to do was to change diapers. It was hard to feel like I was doing much at all. (And side note I feel like that is in part due to society’s programming to undervalue work performed by women, and how we are trained to undervalue ourselves despite childcare being the very definition of essential). And while we did make so many wonderful friends, it was still just so lonely. So revisiting this image and this memory 11/12 years later, I’m blessed with some perspective. I like the idea of each small little lesson I teach my children as seeds planted, what we learn as a garden grown. Some they’ll nourish, some they won’t. Some things will be lessons they teach me. Our journey growing together is what creates such a beautiful garden. I’m excited to finish this, and make more like it, and show them all to you in one place.

I’ve been thinking (a dangerous past time) about

I’ve been thinking (a dangerous past time) about expectations placed on women, and more specifically women raised in high demand, patriarchal religions. I’ve heard a lot of conflicting messaging directed towards women and girls. As a kid and teen, I’d have adults tell me that my artistic talent was a gift from god, and it’s my job to nourish it and use it. But then getting older, some of the messaging began to turn away from developing my own talents and skills, and started to turn towards what my responsibilities as a wife and mother would look like. I remember being curious where this gift I was supposed to be strengthening and using played into those responsibilities. I remember wondering why teen girls were being lectured about housework while the teen boys were in the same building playing basketball. But when an organization and a culture is all you know, and ties your eternal salvation into the whole thing, it feels wrong to question what you’re hearing. I’ve been a wife and mother for a long time now. I have many children. I am endeavoring every single day to meet their mental, emotional, and physical needs. (And with neurodivergent children their needs are complex.) I have a partner who rightly takes on his share of all it takes to care for a family. But I’m still hearing that messaging, telling me it’s shameful to have anything other than a spotless home (also side note, it’s never the male partner who is looked down on for the condition of the home, is it?). A wife and mother shouldn’t be spending time pursuing her own interests or intellectual development if there are still chores to be done (are we Cinderella in this scenario? We can go to the ball but only if the chores are done?) and then gee what a shame the chores never end and are never done. I am a better mother when I am stretching my critical thinking, pushing my talents and skills, and taking time for my own interests. I desperately need for my sons and daughters to see that a wife and mother are relationships, not chore lists. Cont. in comments

I went to my first figure session in a little over

I went to my first figure session in a little over a year (😱) and I felt so anxious before going. It had been too long a break, I wouldn’t be able to get back into it, I forgot how to draw, etc etc. I really struggle with both feeling like it’s okay to take time off art for life stuff, and feeling like it’s okay to take time from my family for art stuff. I’m an enigma I know. So I certainly felt rusty, which was a little frustrating. But also felt like it was easier than I thought it would be to get back into it. I’m hoping to go more frequently now that I have the mental block of the first one out of the way. Balancing mothering and art making is really hard, guys. And I think I make it harder than it needs to be with some of the mental and emotional impediments I subconsciously put up. Anyway. If you’ve ever taken a long break and felt bad about it, tell me. I’d love to hear.

If you’ve ever purchased a painting from me, the

If you’ve ever purchased a painting from me, there’s an incredibly high chance I had some helpers at one point.

My latest masterpiece, Felix Day Smith. We are all

“Our Parents are Gardeners” 16”x20” oil on

“Our Parents are Gardeners” 16”x20” oil on canvas.

This painting will be one of many in a show dedicated to Heavenly Parents, opening at @writandvision on March 1st. This was a difficult concept for me to come up with a composition for. One night I was up in the middle of the night unable to sleep, and the image of a couple laboring together in an ethereal garden came to mind. It fit my objectives: not too literal, relatable across belief, race, gender, etc, in my wheelhouse (I can be a bit timid to try something really different sometimes 😬), and it had to be an idea that I found interesting. It came together pretty seamlessly after that, the only roadblocks being trying to find the time to paint it while also caring for 4 kids and being pregnant. It wasn’t lost on me that I was spending a lot of time thinking about Heavenly Parents while also very much in the thick of my own parent journey-painting a representation of creation while feeling a baby move and grow inside me. It’s turtles all the way down (or parents all the way down, if you will), cycles of gestation, growth, life, death, repeating everywhere there is to see.

Anyway, all that to say, I hope you like this and come see the show. The few pieces I’ve seen from other participating artists are amazing, and I am so excited to see the rest at the opening.

“Hope is a child under a warm quilt” will be a

“Hope is a child under a warm quilt” will be apart of the @visionofthearts auction that starts tomorrow. This auction raises funds that support artists (like me, my grant was funded by last years auction). If you like art and if you like supporting artists, this is the auction for you.

When thinking about what hope is, my thoughts immediately went to the children in Gaza, and the heartbreaking loss occurring there. My children don’t think much about sleeping warm and safe in their beds. They even see getting in their beds as an annoyance. For too many babies all over the world, a safe, warm bed with a quilt made by someone who loves them is a faraway dream and hope. So as I’ve been tucking my babies in, I’ve been thinking about all those other babies, and hoping for a world when they’ll be safe and warm too.

You may have noticed (or maybe not that’s okay)

You may have noticed (or maybe not that’s okay) that I’ve been a lot more quiet over here. Honestly, I’ve felt very compelled to slow down and take time to rest. Since my kids were little I always told them to “listen to their bodies” and I have to follow my own advice, right? What I discovered once I took some time to slow down was that I am in for a big surprise-our unexpected baby #5 (😨😨😨) is headed our way in April. Now that the first trimester is behind me I’m looking forward to feeling better and painting more, and I can’t wait to meet this little person that wasn’t going to be left behind.

Come check our my artwork today at #SpringvilleArt

Come check our my artwork today at #SpringvilleArtsFestival in the early Autumn weather!

This year for the @jkrgallery business card art sh

This year for the @jkrgallery business card art show, I tried something totally different. I let my 22 month old baby sit on my lap and go to town with gouache paint on heavy watercolor paper. She had a blast, and I loved seeing what she would do. Then, once they dried, I went back in and responded to all her marks and brushstrokes. I have 6 of these collaborative efforts between a mother artist and her baby. They’ll be at @jkrgallery opening September 1st. I’d love to see you there, and if you come and see me please say hi to me!

I’ve shared this in stories but I feel it deserv

I’ve shared this in stories but I feel it deserves a post. So sorry to anyone who is tired of me talking about this (actually I’m not sorry).

I love mothering and I love art making. The two often feel in opposition. I recently found out I have been awarded a grant for mother artists from @visionofthearts. I feel very honored and humbled by this, and it has come at a time when I have really been questioning whether I am crazy for trying to build a career with young kids. I constantly consider just packing it all up and taking it back out once my kids are older. However, just the thought of that breaks my heart and numbs my thoughts. So onward it is. Every like and comment received here is a boost of support, and this grant is just so meaningful to me. I can’t give up I just got a really cool grant! It can be so hard to hold on to that piece of yourself that’s just for you, so if you’re feeling similar things keep holding on to it. It’s good for your kids to see you working hard on something you love. It’s good for your kids to see your failures and successes. Although when I told my kids about this award, they said “oh cool” then walked off so maybe don’t expect too much enthusiasm from them 😘 Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for supporting art.

Once again I found myself sitting down to draw, no

Once again I found myself sitting down to draw, not having taken time to consider what it is I’d like to work on that day. So I asked my friend @maureen.merrell.art who always gives excellent advice, and she suggested to focus on the light. I’m pretty pleased. I do really enjoy figure drawing, as challenging as it is.

Plz engage with this unboxing video so my children

Plz engage with this unboxing video so my children can eat (jkjk) 😘😘😘

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